


House Of Marvel

by casstayinmyass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Halloween, House of Mouse - Freeform, House of Villains, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5133484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House of Villains parody, with "It's Our House Now" parody from the Halloween House of Mouse special. It's Halloween night, and the villains are waiting until midnight to stage a dramatic takeover of Avengers Tower....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The moon glowed a haunting orange over the nightlife of New York City. It was Halloween, and Tony and Pepper were holding a Tower Of Heroes party, where they all watch Halloween cartoons of everyone.

Of course, since it was a festive night of fun, the villains were invited as well.

Everyone made their way to Avengers Tower in one way or another. Some didn’t have to come from far- some came from worlds away. Some arrived in a simple snap, and others flew in.

JARVIS tracked whoever entered, and greeted everyone at the door.

“Welcome, Professor. Er, nice to see you again, Mr. Stane….”

Just then, Loki came in with Thor, grumbling next to his brother, who looked overly cheerful and extremely festive with bolts in his neck and staples in his forehead.

“Hello, Mr. and Mr. Odinson,” JARVIS greeted, and Loki growled. “It’s Laufeyson.  **Laufeyson**!!” he barked.

Steve arrived in an old-fashioned vampire costume, and Bruce was zombified from head to toe.

Clint admired himself in front of the mirror in the tower.

“Oh man! Trick or treat,” he beamed, checking the devil costume he had on, “Tonight, I’m gonna go out and scare everybody!”

Just then, Natasha sauntered past, dressed as a black cat. “You? Scare everybody? Hate to point it out, Clint, but on a scaremeter, you’re barely a squeal.”

Thor chuckled as he walked past. “The lady is correct. You’re not going to scare anybody dressed as a large red Bilgesnipe!”

Clint deflated as he checked his reflection again. “Bilge-what?! Aw, come on! I’ll show you guys!”

People began to applaud in the room full of tables and the stage at the front, and Pepper peeked out from behind the curtain in her witch costume, scanning the crowd. “Huh… there seems to be an awful lot of villains here tonight,” she noted, nervously looking back to Tony.

“Aw, relax, Pepper!” he said as he fixed his tie. “It’s Halloween! I’m sure they’re not up to any tricks!”

Over at a table full of villains, Red Skull took a large swig of vodka. “Ahhh, Halloween at Avengers Tower. All treats, and no tricks!”

 He pounded a fist on the table. “If this were my house, I’d run things differently.” Whiplash grunted in agreement.

“Add a splash of evil…”

“Wreak havoc!” the Abomination added with a grin.

“Blah, blah, blah, every year it’s the same thing, all talk and no play!” Obadiah complained.

“What a bunch of dull villains,” Malekith said.

“Well, this year will be different,” Loki said, languidly crossing his legs, “I’ve got a trick for all the heroes. But you’ll all have to wait until midnight.” They all cackled.

Suddenly, the lights went dim, and the stage lights came on. “Welcome, welcome!” Tony Stark said as he came out in a lab coat and mad-scientist goggles. “I love Halloween, don’t you?! Lots of stuff happening around here! I wonder how some people got to the party. Take Ivan, for instance. He could’ve just swung in with his whips!”

Whiplash pounded the table in laughter. “It is funny, because it’s true!” 

Tony went on. “I even saw ol’ Skull over there. He was really painting the town  _red_!” Red Skull laughed out loud, raising his glass. 

“I also heard there was a party going on over in Asgard! B.Y.O.B- Bring your own brothers!” Thor boomed with laughter, and Loki even cracked a smile. 

“Now, let’s start off the fun… with this awesome one!”

JARVIS rolled the cartoon.

* * *

 

Thor flew over Asgard, laughing merrily as he watched everyone make preparations for their Halloween-type holiday.

He flew down, and set ground, turning to a scary-looking pumpkin. Suddenly, it moved, and he jumped in terror. “What matter of witchcraft is this?” he mumbled, watching in shock. “Loki?” Then, three people came out from behind the cart, one carrying a pumpkin on his head. 

It was Volstagg, Sif, and Fandral!

The three hummed a spooky tune as they walked down the pathway to one of the doors of the palace, holding bags for trick or treating.

Inside, Loki looked out the peephole of his door. 

 _Ah,_  he thought deviously,  _It’s them!_  

He picked up the bowl of candy he had put out just to satisfy his brother, and picked up the dynamite he had underneath. He used his magic to disguise it as three lollipops, and chuckled to himself mischievously as he opened the door.

“Hello, my friends,” he said warmly, trying to keep a straight face.

“Trick or treat!” they all said, and Loki grinned. “Yes… here you are,” he said, putting a lollipop in each of their bags.

“Thanks, Loki,” Fandral smiled, and they all looked to see what they got.

Just then, the bags all exploded, and Loki set off into a fit of laughter. Thor watched all this from afar, and was appalled by his brother’s lack of holiday spirit. 

“My friends,” Thor said as he approached the down-trodden looking three, “I saw what happened. Loki shall pay for his wrong-doings, I will see to that. I will get your candy for you.”

So the god of thunder went up to the door, pounding on it.

“Oh, no, not tonight, Thor,” Loki chuckled, “You’re not going to ruin my fun tonight.” He opened the door, trying his best to look innocent. “What is it, brother?” Thor was about to scold him for what he did, when Loki flicked his wrist, and a bucket of sticky caramel fell on him from above.

Thor sputtered, and when he looked again, Loki’s door was closed. He huffed as he rejoined the warriors, and shook himself off. “Loki was more devious than I suspected… I’m going to put my own spell on him, if he thinks he’s so clever. But I require some ingredients…”

A little later, Thor stood by a vat, mixing all the ancient herbs he had asked for from the peaks of the Asgardian mountains, and the depths of the Jotun caves.

He mixed everything, and tried a little.

His body started to shiver, and his feet started dancing on their own. “Mmm,” he said, “The spell works. The Poptarts were a nice touch too.”

He flew back with his three friends to the palace hall, and up to Loki’s door.

“Brother?!” Thor boomed, and Loki rolled his eyes.

“What is it, Thor?” he asked irritably, going over to his door, “I already gave you your, um… candy,” he smirked. Thor pounded on the door again.

“Brother, I demand to see you.”

“No,” Loki refused, “Leave me alone.”

At this, Thor forced the door open, and sprayed Loki’s feet with the brew he had made earlier. Loki was about to ask what in the Hel was going on, when his feet started to twitch.

“What the…” he muttered, and started to involuntarily dance. They all watched him, and he tried to stop, but his feet danced right over to the candy bowl, bringing it over to everyone as he still attempted to fight against it.

“Arg! How did you learn to use magic?” he asked. Thor laughed, putting his arm around his scowling brother.

“It’s Halloween, brother- anything can happen!”

* * *

 

The cartoon ended as everyone clapped and cheered, and Thor was applauding the loudest.

Over in the entrance, Clint was waiting for the right person to come in to scare, and saw The Mandarin enter. “Oh boy,” he whispered to himself, “Someone to scare!”

“Boo!” he shouted, and the Mandarin lifted his robes menacingly, crushing a fortune cookie in his hands as though to symbolize him.

 “Heh…” the archer laughed, backing away slowly.

Back on stage, Tony was introducing the next one.

“Lots of things are considered spooky- especially this one, with mechanical houses, starring none other than... me.”

* * *

 

Tony tossed and turned in his bed, trying to block out all the noise his house was making.

It creaked, and it groaned, and crackled to no end! He couldn’t get a wink of sleep with it. He was fed up.

 So he grabbed one of his suits, and packed up, vowing to move the next day.

He looked through the real estate, and checked everything, until he came to one: a new house, with futurized technology! He bought it right away, and moved in.

There was an operating system named JARVIS, that cooked, cleaned, and did everything for Tony, even helped him take a shower faster! Tony loved his new house.

But soon, it started to become bothersome, how helpful the A.I. really was. It would get angry when Tony went to bed at an irregular time, and would lock the bar cabinets if Tony got too drunk. 

Needless to say, JARVIS was taking over his life, and it was scaring the billionaire.

Tony packed up, and tried to move again, but the A.I. wouldn’t let him leave! He clawed and scrambled at the door, but cutlery was being flung at him every time he moved.

At last, Tony had to short circuit it with the water from the shower, and fight back as it tried to lock him up. 

He looked back sadly at the shiny new house he had once loved so much as he left and went back to his nice, creaky old one.

Tony laughed as the cartoon ended, and the guests all clapped.

“Forgive me sir, but I don’t think I’d ever be that creepy,” JARVIS commented over the speakers, and Tony chuckled. “I agree with you there, J- alright, time for the next one!”

Over in their booth, Loki and the others eagerly checked the time. Midnight was approaching…

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Glad everyone’s enjoying the evening,” Tony Stark grinned from his place up on stage, “Here at Avengers Tower, it’s great to be spending Halloween with all of you!”

Out in the crowd, notable heroes such as Professor X and Beast clapped, and Wolverine pumped his fist in the air as Bruce and Cap whistled. Thor hooted, and smashed his mug on the ground, calling for another.

“So, this next one’s gonna be pretty spooky, brace yourselves...”

As Tony spoke, backstage, Natasha was rigging the lights. Suddenly, she felt something like a wire wrap around her midriff, and pull her back to the holder.

“Good evening, Miss Romanova,” drawled a thick Russian accent, and he tightened his whip around her, “It’s almost midnight!”

 Two more villains came up behind him as she struggled. “I’m afraid ze show’s over,” Red Skull said in his German dialect, tightening a fist from behind Whiplash. “Well,” Loki said as he appeared, flashing a manic grin, “ _Yours_  is anyway.”  

“I’ve got a few…  _lessons_  for the Avengers,” the Mandarin said, and he lifted his arms, signalling to Obadiah Stane to flick off the lights. “Sorry, Natasha…” Obadiah smirked, “But we don’t want to be  _dull_  villains on Halloween.”

Back on stage, Tony was in the middle of the intro to the next Halloween-themed Marvel cartoon. 

“Okay, everyone, now it’s time for a change of pace -”

When suddenly, all the lights went out, and another one of Whiplash’s electric whips fastened around him at his place at centre stage. 

Loki entered onto the stage, and a centre spotlight was cast.

“Right you are, Stark… It’s All Hallow’s Eve, you know, and with just the right touch,” he said, and with a flick of his wrist, Tony had vanished into thin air.

There was a collective gasp throughout all the heroes, but the villains in the audience stood and held them back from doing anything as the main villains started music, and started to sing.

 

**Obadiah:**

_This could be quite the place!_

**The Mandarin:**

_Full of wholesome, happy faces_

 

**The Abomination:**

_Hanging out_

**Red Skull:**

_Feeling fine…_

**Whiplash:**

_Vere eweryvone's a friend of mine!_

**Obadiah:**

_Inside this evil joint_

**Red Skull:**

_Every guest gets to ze point!_

**Malekith:**

_This day will live in infamy_

**Loki:**

_Avengers_   _Tower_   _is history!!_

**Villains:**

_It's our house now_

_It's our house now_

_It's the fact you can't ignore_

_Shut the windows, lock the doors!_

_It's our house now_

_Raise your mugs, my evil friends_

_Our devious rules we never bend_

_It's our house now!_

**Red Skull**   _:_

_All ze cunning rulers fit in so perfectly..._

**Loki:**

_Every evil king gets due respect!_

( **Mystique to Loki:**

_Love your work...)_

**The Mandarin:**

_You'll forget your troubles, put your trust in me…_

**Obadiah:**

_You had your fun_

**Malekith:**

_You’ve made your play_

**Villains:**

_But every hero has their day!_

_It's our house now_

**Abomination**   _:_

_Down and dirty_

**Villains:**

_It's our house now_

**Dark Elves:**

_What a party_

**Magneto:**

_What a place for 'breaking bread'..._

**Hydra Hailers:**

_Shoot the enemy_

**Mandarin:**

_I’ll shoot him in the head!!_

**Villains:**

_It's our house now_

_(What a party)_

_Join the fun with no regrets_

_Only greedy, dirty deeds are allowed!_

**Loki:**

_Get my brother!_

**Obadiah:**

_Game over, Tony!_

**Red Skull:**

_Hit ze road, Captain!_

**Abomination:**

_Lay low, Banner!_

**Villains:**

_It's our house now_

_(Don't bother coming back)_

_It's our house now!!_

The villains all laughed as the heroes were thrown out, and Loki used his magic to change the A on the tower to 'V'  for ‘Tower of Villains.’


End file.
